And one of the scribes came up and heard them disputing with one another, and seeing that he answered them well, asked him, “Which commandment is the most important of all?” Jesus answered, “The most important is, ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” – Mark 12:28-31
I turned 50 in 2023. Half a century. It made me reflect a little differently than I have in the past. I have been following Jesus since just before I turned 14. Thirty-six years of faith. How have I grown more Christ-like? What have I accomplished for the Kingdom of God? Where have I fallen short and need to repent? How much time have I wasted? Am I living rightly?
My husband and I began counseling in January of 2023 in an attempt to become better parents for our adult children. We’ve learned and grown, but I know I struggle with feelings of inadequacy and have questioned my competency in this area of my life. As being a mom was the only thing I wanted to be when I grew up, it has been difficult to question how I have failed within the most important calling I have been given. I have the would’ve, could’ve, and should’ve thoughts. I can’t change the past, so I must decide what I can do now to change tomorrow.
If I were truly following Jesus with my whole heart, soul, mind, and strength, how would my life look compared to the life I currently lead? What would be the same? What would be different? (In parenting and every aspect of life.)
I spent some time making goals for 2024 that would move me in the direction that I would like to see my life heading to redeem the time left to me in this next phase of life. My husband calls this the 3rd quarter. I wanted to focus on the four aspects of loving God but expanding them more broadly to a life of following Christ.
Heart
To me, my heart is the place of love. Do I love God more than anything? More than I love myself? Am I willing to sacrifice my own desires when they hinder my love for God? (Personal sin.) Do I love others well? (The 2nd greatest commandment.) Am I engaging in meaningful relationships with the people God has created and loves? Am I a beacon drawing others toward Christ or a warning sign that pushes them away? Do I love others only with platitudes, or am I willing to love them when it’s hard for me, either in setting boundaries or in sacrificially serving?
Mind
God gave me a mind. Am I developing it in meaningful ways? Could I serve him more if I knew more, had better skills, and wasn’t wasting time scrolling away on my phone? Could learning a new language open up opportunities for ministry? Could playing the piano further my heart for worship? Am I letting my mind atrophy when God has placed before me an amazing world to explore?
Soul
I see this as the deepest part of who I am. Learning about God, communing with God, and understanding my relationship with God and the world he created is essential to my very being. If I want to know who I am, I need to know what the One who made me says about me. Am I listening in prayer to His guidance? Right-thinking about God and myself should ideally lead to a better attitude, kinder responses to others, less gossip, etc.
Strength
What have I failed to do or won’t be able to do in the future simply because I have failed to care for the body God gave me? Am I limited in service due to a lack of strength or stamina? Will I shorten my ministry life because I didn’t care well for this human container? Am I too tired to accomplish the tasks before me, or am I doing it with an irritable attitude due to exhaustion or a poor physical state within my control? Sleep is necessary. Rest (mental and physical) is important; the simple act of not being productive doesn’t equal rest. Wasting time is not the same as rest. Intentional, cultivated rest is what we need.
About Goal Setting/Keeping
I won’t bore you with the details of my goals. My husband has been sharing with me some of what he has been learning about productivity, so I decided to make physical goal sheets for the entire year. (I’m low-tech.) I thought by setting it up in a simple check-off style format; I might be more willing to keep up. I set up numerous goals related to all four areas, from fellowshipping with friends (heart) to what books of the Bible I will study this year (soul), increasing my Spanish skills on Duolingo (mind), and bike riding (strength).
Last year, I set a goal of memorizing Psalm 119. I didn’t complete it. I included it on my list for this year’s goals. While I didn’t complete my goal, I did memorize portions of the psalm by listening to it on the way to work every day. Even though I didn’t meet my goal, I made significant, positive progress. Have a mindset that sees partial success as an accomplishment rather than quitting when you can’t fully reach the goal. I want my goals to be attainable but challenging. I want to see missing the mark but getting closer than I was before as success rather than failure.
Also, some goals can be limited by other people or by life circumstances. While I created goals that are mostly dependent on me, things might impact their successful completion outside of my efforts. There must be leeway. For example, If I break my leg, which is a possibility if you knew how often I crash my bike, I will need to take a break from that goal. What I don’t want to do is have goals that are focused on other people doing things. These are about me, not someone else.
Finally, some of my goals continue things I already do. I want to keep doing those things, so I wrote them down. I don’t want them to get pushed aside in light of new goals. Some I specified in greater detail, such as what book I would study in the Bible during my normal daily quiet time. What I tried to do was be careful not to add too much in too quickly. Too much change too quickly can lead to giving up. For example, I added arm exercises twice a week. I am not adding in a lengthy workout. If I do one wall push-up or lift a tiny dumbbell a few repetitions, then I succeed. If I get into a routine, it will be easier to increase the intensity of the workout, but creating the routine is key. A few years ago, I started putting my cell phone across the room from me so I would get up when my alarm rang. I liked my phone near my bed so I could read at night, so I replaced it with my Kindle. Someday, I might go crazy and give that bad habit up as well, but baby steps.
I don’t know how I will fare with this year’s goals, but I know that I’m bound to do better than I would without goals. I don’t want to waste the life God has blessed me with.
Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.- Ephesians 5:15-17